I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself for the last 2 years to overcome a fear of public speaking.
What’s really weird, though, is that I was an auctioneer for 10 years of my life and got up in front of large groups of people for a couple of hours and called the item and then ran the numbers.
What was that about? At first, I thought it was because I had a panic attack at 19 years old when delivering a talk. So, I started working on that. And working on that led to another issue, then another issue. I was setting one goal after another – and I was still struggling with speaking in public. Finally, I realized that my real issue was speaking my truth in public. When I gave the talk at 19, I created the content. Auctioning wasn’t about me, it was about the merchandise…….
About 4 months ago, I hired a colleague to help me get over my stuff. She would have seen the real problem right away when I first started working on it. Why? Because she isn’t me. I really have to laugh at myself because I know better, and yet it took me almost two years to reach out and get help. I was struggling, felt like a hamster on a wheel, expending a tremendous amount of time and energy – making some progress by getting off the wheel and running around a bit – but then I’d get right back on that wheel…………..
I would go to networking events and when it came time for me to share my information, my heart would start pounding in my chest, my mouth would get dry, muscles all tighten up, my brain didn’t function, so I would forget what I really wanted to say. Classic fight or flight response in action. After each time this happened, I would set the goal to find out why that happened and clear it. I was chopping away at the issue, but never quite getting it.
So, what’s the point?
So many times I wonder why people just keep struggling with something in their life. T-r-y-ing to do something is not doing it, it’s struggling. And, we do it because we don’t realize what we are doing. I didn’t… until I did. My subconscious was in charge of that issue and wasn’t going to let me off the hook. I needed that outside help – from someone other than me – to see right through the BS and nip it in the bud. So, I got that help.
Another example. I have a brother who has recently developed heart problems and difficulty controlling his blood pressure. I saw him last week and all he does is tell his story about his doctor visits and how the doctors aren’t really helping him and on and on. Bottom line, he has some electrical disconnect in the heart which allopathic medicine doesn’t do anything for except tell you not to let your heart rate go over X because if you do you could have a major heart attack. Then he starts complaining about not being able to exercise because of the heart rate issue and he’s trying to lose weight which will help bring his blood pressure down………..HAMSTER WHEEL. I have repeatedly offered my services to him and he says, “I know, I know, I should get over to see you, but I’m just so busy, I don’t have any time.”
You can’t force people to help themselves, you can just keep giving them information and hope that they will get off that wheel long enough to get help. We don’t have to do everything ourselves.
If you’re trying to do something, trying to make a change but it’s not working, stop struggling. Contact me for a free consultation.